Power of Prayer

When you feel that you have done all you can...pray.
When you feel that the cards are stacked against you...pray.
When you feel exhausted, defeated, and lost...pray.
When you feel alone...pray.

You don't need to recite words from the Bible or say 10 Hail Marys...just speak from your heart and have faith that you being heard.

Now I don't go to church and I don't read the Bible but I know that there is a power higher than myself and I believe that there is a path that we have for our lives here on Earth. I don't believe it is an easy path but it is one that we chose to experience and there is a tremendous amount for us to learn on our journeys. But we are never alone. We may have times when we lose everything but we still have each other and we are still in the company of angels and guides and positive, encouraging, supportive energy that is always there but that we have to choose to allow into our lives.

Every day I pray that my family (here and elsewhere, human and animal) is protected from negative energy and danger. I believe that, no matter what, we will be okay. I invite positive energy into my life and I work hard to make sure that my part is done.

Sure I have great moments of anxiety and fear, frustration and pain...but I always come back to the realization that I have the power to create great opportunities for myself and family. I have the ability to make sure that my home is a safe resting place and that if my children need to talk about something...even embarrassing, growing up things...that they can come to me because they will not feel like they should be embarrassed. I have the ability be an example by exercising the laws of attraction and the power of positive thinking and prayer. I have the ability to teach lessons that what we think that we want, what we think we need, may not be what we truly need in our lives to be happy. Even the most miserable experiences are opportunities to learn new strategies, skills, and lessons for our life. We cannot learn if we don't make mistakes. By working through the mistakes, there is opportunity for tremendous growth.

Everyone is feeling the the floor cracking right now...even if you still have your job and home. But, in times when we feel the most insecure, there is strangely a sense of security...it is just deeper. By asking those hard "what if" questions, we find that our foundation in each other is solid. That if we lose everything, we still have a safe place to go and love to share. We see what is truly important and realize we have our limits and can only do what we can do.

In times like these, it seems like people reconnect or turn to their faith. I encourage everyone to do the same. By welcoming positive thoughts into your life you really have nothing to lose but the negativity. Who knows what challenging, scary, and rewarding opportunity may present itself if you are open to the possibilities.

Update

I just looked at this blog for the first time in a month and thought I would update some things.

First, my hand is doing very very well. After 4 doctor visits to make sure it was healing correctly, I have all my function back but the skin in still hyper sensitive in areas and I can't extend my pinky with too much pressure because the skin feels very tight. A few more months and I should be good as new with very little scarring.

Other stuff....

I am applying for some full-time counselor positions in Sacramento. For all of those that read this (I think only my parents actually do but whatever), say a little prayer, think a positive thought, or send us some good vibrations. "Home" has been calling me back and I would love to get out of Fresno. Matt is all on board for moving because it is just too unhealthy here and he is tired of feeling like crap physically. Our desire to move doesn't have anything to do with my inlaws either. Matt's family is great and it is nice to know that we have people around us here in Fresno. I know some people really hate being close to their spouse's family and would move for that reason...I just wanted to put that out there because that is not the case for us. Even though I would rather not live in Fresno any longer, I certainly would not force my family to move. This is something Matt and I are looking into together. Every job opportunity that I see, I discuss with him before I even apply. It usually goes something like this:

Me: "Honey, there are 4 counselor positions open in Sacramento..."

Matt: "Well, apply."

We never know what will happen but, at some point, I am bound to get a hit on the numerous applications I submit. We will see...I am thinking positively.

Matt is unhappy at his job. They laid off 17 people on Monday (1/5)...happy new year...not so much. Matt wasn't laid off because he is far to valuable to the company (I'm not just saying that either). I am also hopeful that an employer out there (in the Sac area, haha) will give Matt a chance to show them what an asset he would be to their company.

In other news, Matt is starting school on Monday (1/12). He is taking classes toward a Mechanical Engineering degree. This will be challenging on everyone but I support him 150% because it is an investment in our future and I know that he will find it rewarding. This is something he really wants and I am happy that he is getting started. It will be an interesting transition but we will get through it and it feel very normal after a little while. I will certainly need to pick up the slack because he will be in class Mon-Wed from around 6pm-830pm. I do most of the inside stuff anyway but I will need to help out with some more of the outside stuff. This is something I do not have a problem doing. Matt will have work and school and homework so I can do my part helping out in areas that he may not have the time for. That's what partners do and I know he would do it for me if the tables were turned.

My parents are coming to visit from today until Sunday (I think). I usually try to sick Courtney on my mom to squeeze out another day or so. The kids get excited when my parents come to visit…especially Courtney because she has someone to talk to who talks just as much as she does. Haha. If you haven’t watched TV with my mom and Courtney together, it is an experience…you may not be able to hear half of the program due to the chatter. I really am starting to understand my dad more now that I am married to Matt. I am jealous of the way they can block things out.

And finally, my cousin and his wife had a baby girl, Eva, on new year's eve. I can't wait to see her.

I think that is all the bigger stuff going on right now.

Reality sets in!

Matt and I unwrapped my hand last night and Igot a little weepy. The pictures look bad but it looks worse in person. I literally cut through half of my pinky. I have no idea what stopped it from cutting anything really serious in my hand other than the herd of angels surrounding me at the time. I can imagine it now, "Come on everyone, she has the knife!" as they all surround me and wait for me to be a retard. haha.

My thumb and pinky move but my pinky is really restricted because of the stitches and the pulling that the occurs when I try to move it more than a tad.

Matt has been really good about helping me out and so have the kids. I wish they responded this quickly every day. :) The vicoden made me feel really sick so I am back on the ibuprofen during work hours and then I plan on taking one "v" when I get home.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Practice knife safety during the holidays!

Two hands are helpful when putting on a bra

As if things aren't stressful enough right now, I cut my hand yesterday helping Courtney with her science project. A reasonable quick trip to the E.R. and my fingers still work and are safely secured with a total of 15 stitches. Thank God it was my left hand.

I am trying to stay away from the prescription the doctor gave me and just survive with the ibuprofen but it is still really uncomfortable. Courtney was trooper and helped me by cleaning up the blood and following my directions. It helps that I was really calm and reassured her that i was okay and focused her on other tasks. Matt rushed home and took me to the hospital. He knows I'm not a wimp but I think he was surprised to see the seriousness of the cuts once I opened my hand at the hospital (I was clenching a paper towel for 1 1/2 hours and refused to open it until I was seen by someone at the hospital).

So, everything is a little more challenging now but it is forcing me to let Matt and the kids help me (which is good for all of us). I refuse to buy pies for Thanksgiving but I will need to shortcut some steps and the kids are going to help so they can brag to the family on Thursday. haha.

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

SO STRESSED

What happened to those lazy days of work and home with the animals? Boy has life changed dramatically! I love my husband and kids but I would also love to be able to freeze time once in awhile, unfreeze my husband and then we can spend some quiet time together without feeling like we are falling behind in something...because time is FROZEN! Haha.

But, I really do feel that we are working our tails off for something. I feel that in the next few years something will change in a positive way. Something is going to happen for Matt in his career because he is an amazingly skilled person and awesome employee no matter where he works. The kids are going to do better and better as we keep providing them with a stable home and teach them how to be genuine and responsible. I'm going to work...I don't know where or in what exactly. This is where I get a little hazy. I will be in education and I hope to be full-time but I really don't know what, if anything, will change. It is a little frustrating when you can kind of see what the future may hold for other people but not for yourself. But, I think there is a reason for this. If I knew what was going to happen in my future, would I work as hard to get there? Would I learn as much along the way? There is a reason why we are on our paths and that is to learn from our experiences and work for what we want.

I do know some things in life. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my animals. I love my family. I have a good head on my shoulders and and good brain in my head. I need to take care of myself. That is the hard one.

Are you looking for construction work?

Just so everyone knows, my husband is available for projects. He is getting started this Friday, 10/3/09, on a kitchen remodel for a family friend. They were quoted over 7k by Home Depot for installation of the cabinets (they are keeping the kitchen footprint very similar). Of course, this had been knocked up from the $4500 quoted by their contractor that went out to the home (which Home Depot mistakenly showed them). Matt is doing all the work for $3500 (and he is saving them more money because he is completing some of the things that they would have to contract out). This includes demolition, sheetrocking, wiring, cabinet and appliance installation, and probably a bunch of other things that I am not thinking of.

We did everything in our kitchen ourselves, except the counter tops. Look below for pictures.

If you want fantastic work done for a great price, let me know. Small projects or large project, we can do it. An added bonus is that you get me with him as his official helper (yes, I do know what I'm doing). :)

Feel free to circulate our info.

The air is thick

With filth!

The air is unhealthy for sensitive groups today and the pollen levels are at 9. When I rode my scoot scoot home today, I couldn't see the hills/mountains. When it is nice outside, it looks like they are only a few minutes away. My daughter's eyes are burning and one of my coworkers had a little bit of a bloody nose this morning and was sneezing and coughing. Allergies are bad when you cough. (My opinion)

I love my home and my job and we are doing pretty good here in the armpit of Cali BUT, the day will come when we seek out cleaner air and some kind of breeze. That day will be happy. When I can look toward the horizon and see something other than a brown sludge (it almost looks like you can reach out to wipe at it and come away with ca-ca on your fingers) and I am not living in a city full of sickness due to asthma and other stuff caused by our air.

Yes, I know that pollution pretty much everywhere is getting worse but armits (whether they be literal or figurative) tend to accumulate the nasties unless they are washed out regularly. Fresno does not get regular washings.

This title is from the San Fransico Chronicle on May 1, 2007

4 smoggiest cities located in California
L.A., Bakersfield, Visalia area, Fresno
Jane Kay, Chronicle Environment Writer


On a side note, my daughter is in her room belting out Taylor Swift songs. Fortunately, she has come to the realization that Taylor Swift is a horrible singer BUT she still likes her songs. So, she closes her door and belts them at the top of her lungs. She likes to sing so I let her make her lungs sore.